Today, my Jenny and I were talking about our beginnings, together. It’s amazing how people can interpret things so differently, and how we each have our own memories of specific situations. Of course, my memory is more accurate ;)
It is amazing that after all these years, our memories of those important points in our relationship remain fresh and current in our mixed up brains, where we can’t even remember where we left the keys or what we ate for lunch. It’s not like we are old, but the mind tends to play fun games with memories.
So, it’s good to take a break and think about the days gone by and remember how it was that we came to be. Those early days when awkwardness and manners kept Jen from knowing how my knees knocked every time I saw her. Those days when I needed to write in an outline format exactly what I wanted to talk to Jen (Jennifer at the time) about on the phone (e.g. dinner, dogs, little brother sick, choir, tomorrow’s after school schedule, new song on the radio). Those days when Jen became the center of my universe. When God planted a small seed of friendship that blossomed into the first fruits of love.
I remember when I told my college friends that I was engaged to be married. The one comment from a female acquaintence took me by surprise as she said, “why would you want to do that - don’t you want to be free?”
Nothing. I was still quite shy around girls.
My reply now?
Oh, if you only knew the freedom in marriage. I am free to pass gas without being embarrassed and blaming it on the chair or floor or leather seats. I am free to be completely open with my feelings - good and bad, without fear of Jen leaving me because I’m crazy. I am free to experience the devastation of loss and cry my head off with the one person who will share my tears. I am free to experience the utter joys of lying next to our baby(ies) as their mama cradles them and feeds them to sleep. I am free to enjoy the giggles and squeals of daughters who run to greet me when I return home from work. I am free to love and be loved. I am free to thank God for so many blessings.
So, that’s what you do when you reminisce. You think about how things were, and end up realizing that those memories are the precursers to the amazing memories of today. Each packed up and put away to be brought out years down the road when its been 25 or 35 or 50 years together. I hope the memories of our beginning remain clear - but if they don’t, it will be fun to make up some good stuff… and embarrass the kids…